Spring Break
Class Day Essay Finalists - Kent Bennett
Issue date: 5/5/08 Section: Viewpoints & Humor
Be bold.
"Be bold when facing down an aggressive male turkey."
The pamphlet's advice rang in my head as I eyed the great beast…
Months earlier, when local efforts to revitalize the wild turkey population had brought sightings of a feathery resident to campus, I had been confident that the school would take the same swift corrective action they reserve for a misplaced Autumn leaf or slightly bent blade of grass…and they soon did.
Okay, sure, maybe other schools would have chosen to address the problem directly, but here at HBS students are provided with facts and given the opportunity - nay, the privilege - to supply our own solutions. It's part of our charm.
So instead of removing the ornery and (as I assumed) typhoid transporting bird, the school distributed a pamphlet, entitled "Living with Wild Turkeys," apparently advocating an appeasement approach. But knowledge is power, and from this pamphlet I gathered some powerful and disturbing information.
Did you know that Ben Franklin actually recommended the turkey over the eagle as the US national bird? Franklin wrote of the turkey "He is…though a little vain & silly, a bird of courage, and would not hesitate to attack a grenadier of the British Guards."
Yeah Ben, but that's because he would also not hesitate to attack any passing man, woman, child or even shiny surface reflecting his own image. Courageous maybe, but turkeys, it turns out, are kind of jerks.
Even more frightening was the pamphlet's revelation of the cruel logic behind the Turkey's aggression. Turkeys, I learned, organize themselves according to a strict social pecking order…a turkey org chart of sorts.
The birds use visual cues from creatures they encounter to figure out just how everyone stacks up - humans included! They actually watch how we dress, walk, and talk, and only then decide if we're in charge, or if it's time to start pecking.
What's worse, once they pass judgment, Turkey's have been known to file the assessment away forever.
"Be bold when facing down an aggressive male turkey."
The pamphlet's advice rang in my head as I eyed the great beast…
Months earlier, when local efforts to revitalize the wild turkey population had brought sightings of a feathery resident to campus, I had been confident that the school would take the same swift corrective action they reserve for a misplaced Autumn leaf or slightly bent blade of grass…and they soon did.
Okay, sure, maybe other schools would have chosen to address the problem directly, but here at HBS students are provided with facts and given the opportunity - nay, the privilege - to supply our own solutions. It's part of our charm.
So instead of removing the ornery and (as I assumed) typhoid transporting bird, the school distributed a pamphlet, entitled "Living with Wild Turkeys," apparently advocating an appeasement approach. But knowledge is power, and from this pamphlet I gathered some powerful and disturbing information.
Did you know that Ben Franklin actually recommended the turkey over the eagle as the US national bird? Franklin wrote of the turkey "He is…though a little vain & silly, a bird of courage, and would not hesitate to attack a grenadier of the British Guards."
Yeah Ben, but that's because he would also not hesitate to attack any passing man, woman, child or even shiny surface reflecting his own image. Courageous maybe, but turkeys, it turns out, are kind of jerks.
Even more frightening was the pamphlet's revelation of the cruel logic behind the Turkey's aggression. Turkeys, I learned, organize themselves according to a strict social pecking order…a turkey org chart of sorts.
The birds use visual cues from creatures they encounter to figure out just how everyone stacks up - humans included! They actually watch how we dress, walk, and talk, and only then decide if we're in charge, or if it's time to start pecking.
What's worse, once they pass judgment, Turkey's have been known to file the assessment away forever.
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