Spring Break
Class Day Essay Finalists - Kent Bennett
Issue date: 5/5/08 Section: Viewpoints & Humor
Let's say you run across a turkey on your way home from the graduation ceremony and you fail to make a good impression. If you encounter that same turkey in 2013 at your fifth year reunion, it's quite possible he will remember you and without hesitation peck at you in front of your new spouse, or child - or even worse, a section mate you're trying to impress with your new spouse or child.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression with a Turkey.
So, fearing a lifetime of low status within the avian community, I had anxiously studied the pamphlet in anticipation of an encounter…
And now here he was, sitting on a bench in front of Burden hall without a care in the world like a tenured professor. This was my one and only chance to show this bird who was in charge armed solely with the vague advice offered by the pamphlet for impressing a turkey: "Be bold."
I improvised. Turning up my collar and summoning my pale 5-9 frame I began to stomp and strut - even doing that head bobbing thing, which I'm not sure turkey's do, but it definitely looks pretty bold. The turkey held my gaze for a moment, and then meekly turned away.
That's right turkey. There's a new bird in town.
If just at that moment, I hadn't turned to my left and seen something truly astounding, I may have continued on like that for quite some time.
I may have spent the weeks that followed dressing cautiously before leaving the house, asking my wife "do these jeans make me look bold?"
Who knows, I may have invited the turkey and his wife over for dinner. For the single students out there, this is what lame married couples do on Thursday when you're out at Rumor. We go on couple-dates.
The often awkward first couple-date conversation would likely be even worse with a turkey couple. I can hear it now: "Now, remind me again, you're an attorney? Oh you're a hen, that's right…my cousin works, uh, really closely with a hen in Pennsylvania. He's a farmer…So…uh…do you guys have any plans for thanksgiv-"
You never get a second chance to make a first impression with a Turkey.
So, fearing a lifetime of low status within the avian community, I had anxiously studied the pamphlet in anticipation of an encounter…
And now here he was, sitting on a bench in front of Burden hall without a care in the world like a tenured professor. This was my one and only chance to show this bird who was in charge armed solely with the vague advice offered by the pamphlet for impressing a turkey: "Be bold."
I improvised. Turning up my collar and summoning my pale 5-9 frame I began to stomp and strut - even doing that head bobbing thing, which I'm not sure turkey's do, but it definitely looks pretty bold. The turkey held my gaze for a moment, and then meekly turned away.
That's right turkey. There's a new bird in town.
If just at that moment, I hadn't turned to my left and seen something truly astounding, I may have continued on like that for quite some time.
I may have spent the weeks that followed dressing cautiously before leaving the house, asking my wife "do these jeans make me look bold?"
Who knows, I may have invited the turkey and his wife over for dinner. For the single students out there, this is what lame married couples do on Thursday when you're out at Rumor. We go on couple-dates.
The often awkward first couple-date conversation would likely be even worse with a turkey couple. I can hear it now: "Now, remind me again, you're an attorney? Oh you're a hen, that's right…my cousin works, uh, really closely with a hen in Pennsylvania. He's a farmer…So…uh…do you guys have any plans for thanksgiv-"
Be the first to comment on this story