Spring Break
The Last AmeriCanadian: A Final Salute to You!
(Assuming You Are A Two-Dimensional HBS Stereotype)
Issue date: 4/30/07 Section: Viewpoints & Humor
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To the technology wizard extraordinaire...
...Where would we be without you and your glasses, undergraduate computer science courses, and quick learning of the classroom GUI? Well, I'll tell you where: in some 1980s baby boomer technology hell with a prof who has trouble putting classroom movie screens down, is convinced Eudora is a good email system, and battles to convince us that overhead projectors are still an acceptable method of showing graphs. We count our lucky stars for you every single day.
To the consistent mispronouncer of names...
...Please stop. That's not my name. You just think it is. For the love of God, go to myHBS. Classcard me. I pronounce my name for you in an easy to find sound clip. Listen to it over and over again. Then come talk to me. I'll be in Spangler waiting for you. Hi. Say my name. What was that? Dude. The 'Q' is silent.
To the Latins...
...who, as the great songwriter Eddie Murphy once said, "party all the time, party all the time, party all the time." Oh, what a feeling, you're dancin' on the ceiling! May you never stop 'til you get enough. HBS is your party and you'll cry if you want to. Cry, if you want to. Your humps, your lovely lady lumps. Check it out. Rumor. Thursday night. Be there.
To the consultant consultants...
...You were consultants before you got here and you are consultants on your way out. You have membership cards at every hotel chain, have a favorite airport, and are extremely good at using your hands when you speak. We'll miss seeing your hands when you speak. Those hands, they are something.
To the Trick-Knee Athletes...
...If it wasn't for your trick knee, you'd surely be in the NFL or NBA right now. You were a benchwarmer on your varsity college team, but you sure cleaned up here. You dominated the courts for at Shad, leading your section to many intramural victories. The winning goal in soccer, the final peg in dodge ball, the big catch in the football game, the drop-spin shot in squash. That was all you. Congratulations on ruling our sea of athletic mediocrity.
...Where would we be without you and your glasses, undergraduate computer science courses, and quick learning of the classroom GUI? Well, I'll tell you where: in some 1980s baby boomer technology hell with a prof who has trouble putting classroom movie screens down, is convinced Eudora is a good email system, and battles to convince us that overhead projectors are still an acceptable method of showing graphs. We count our lucky stars for you every single day.
To the consistent mispronouncer of names...
...Please stop. That's not my name. You just think it is. For the love of God, go to myHBS. Classcard me. I pronounce my name for you in an easy to find sound clip. Listen to it over and over again. Then come talk to me. I'll be in Spangler waiting for you. Hi. Say my name. What was that? Dude. The 'Q' is silent.
To the Latins...
...who, as the great songwriter Eddie Murphy once said, "party all the time, party all the time, party all the time." Oh, what a feeling, you're dancin' on the ceiling! May you never stop 'til you get enough. HBS is your party and you'll cry if you want to. Cry, if you want to. Your humps, your lovely lady lumps. Check it out. Rumor. Thursday night. Be there.
To the consultant consultants...
...You were consultants before you got here and you are consultants on your way out. You have membership cards at every hotel chain, have a favorite airport, and are extremely good at using your hands when you speak. We'll miss seeing your hands when you speak. Those hands, they are something.
To the Trick-Knee Athletes...
...If it wasn't for your trick knee, you'd surely be in the NFL or NBA right now. You were a benchwarmer on your varsity college team, but you sure cleaned up here. You dominated the courts for at Shad, leading your section to many intramural victories. The winning goal in soccer, the final peg in dodge ball, the big catch in the football game, the drop-spin shot in squash. That was all you. Congratulations on ruling our sea of athletic mediocrity.
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