Spring Break
The Soviet Case Method
Alejandro Paiuk (OB), Associate Editor
Issue date: 3/5/07 Section: Humor
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Rummaging through old drafts of possible HBS Show script ideas, I found the rough outlines of a story called "LEAD of the Flies" in which the evil LEAD professor is played by a Soviet general named Pasivlov Agresivan Sonovovich. Here are some of his long-lost lines:
What do you do with employees who are secret informers?
Is leadership all about tough decisions, like when to put Lassie to sleep?
Your ignorance could even kill Rasputin.
How was Stalin an example of a moral leader?
I ask simple question, not for life story.
Attendance is mandatory. Where were you when I explained that?
Tell me, is everyone so slow where you come from, or did they banish the village idiot?
Familiarity breeds contempt. I've enjoyed getting to know you.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be on morphine.
Yes, I'm cold calling you. Did they cut off your tongue in Siberia?
They say there's no such thing as a stupid question, but I think you just found one.
If you'd read the case you would know the answers to these pointless questions.
I'm impressed. That actually wasn't half as dumb as your other comments.
What do you do with employees who are secret informers?
Is leadership all about tough decisions, like when to put Lassie to sleep?
Your ignorance could even kill Rasputin.
How was Stalin an example of a moral leader?
I ask simple question, not for life story.
Attendance is mandatory. Where were you when I explained that?
Tell me, is everyone so slow where you come from, or did they banish the village idiot?
Familiarity breeds contempt. I've enjoyed getting to know you.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be on morphine.
Yes, I'm cold calling you. Did they cut off your tongue in Siberia?
They say there's no such thing as a stupid question, but I think you just found one.
If you'd read the case you would know the answers to these pointless questions.
I'm impressed. That actually wasn't half as dumb as your other comments.
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