Spring Break
Bush Drops H-Bomb on Kim Jong-Il; N. Korea Ends Nuclear Program
Issue date: 10/14/03 Section: H-BS - Humor
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(Washington, D.C.) Fearing a potential massive loss of American lives if global diplomacy continues to remain ineffective at resolving the crisis over North Korea's nuclear weapons program, United Sates President George W. Bush made the fateful decision last night to drop the H-Bomb on North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il. Once Kim confirmed that Bush actually graduated from HBS, he immediately ordered the dismantling of North Korea's nuclear program.
According to a White House spokesman, "Last night at 11:02 pm EST, President Bush dialed Kim Jong-Il's phone number. Unfortunately, he didn't have enough money on his pre-paid Asia calling card so the call didn't go through." After a quick trip to a 7-11, Bush was back on the phone and at "11:23 pm EST, Bush finally reached Kim."
President Bush explained his historic conversation.
"I said to him, 'Il, this is Bush, the President of the United States.' He told me he was busy watching Newlyweds on MTV and asked if I could call back later. I told him 'Listen here Il, this is gonna be quick. This whole Six Nations thing isn't working. I've got a better idea to solve this problem.' Before ol' Il could respond, I dropped the bomb and said, 'When I was at Harvard Business School, we studied a similar problem in our BGIE class...'
"Before I could continue, Il was like 'You went to HBS?' And I was like, 'Yup, class of 1975.' Then there was dead silence. After a good minute, Il asked if he could call me back. I think he went to check if I really went to HBS."
According to sources in Pyongyang, Kim did go to check if Bush went to HBS. Distrustful of news articles, Kim wanted to go straight to the source of HBS graduation records - HBS itself. Kim reportedly asked his personal guard to go down to his dungeon and "get him one of those MIT guys [North Korea] has kidnapped over the years." The engineer then alledgedly broke into HBS's Alumni Advisors database. Minutes later theprisoner from MIT guy pulled up Bush's classcard and there is was: "Class of 1975. Occupation: President of the United States of America."
According to a White House spokesman, "Last night at 11:02 pm EST, President Bush dialed Kim Jong-Il's phone number. Unfortunately, he didn't have enough money on his pre-paid Asia calling card so the call didn't go through." After a quick trip to a 7-11, Bush was back on the phone and at "11:23 pm EST, Bush finally reached Kim."
President Bush explained his historic conversation.
"I said to him, 'Il, this is Bush, the President of the United States.' He told me he was busy watching Newlyweds on MTV and asked if I could call back later. I told him 'Listen here Il, this is gonna be quick. This whole Six Nations thing isn't working. I've got a better idea to solve this problem.' Before ol' Il could respond, I dropped the bomb and said, 'When I was at Harvard Business School, we studied a similar problem in our BGIE class...'
"Before I could continue, Il was like 'You went to HBS?' And I was like, 'Yup, class of 1975.' Then there was dead silence. After a good minute, Il asked if he could call me back. I think he went to check if I really went to HBS."
According to sources in Pyongyang, Kim did go to check if Bush went to HBS. Distrustful of news articles, Kim wanted to go straight to the source of HBS graduation records - HBS itself. Kim reportedly asked his personal guard to go down to his dungeon and "get him one of those MIT guys [North Korea] has kidnapped over the years." The engineer then alledgedly broke into HBS's Alumni Advisors database. Minutes later theprisoner from MIT guy pulled up Bush's classcard and there is was: "Class of 1975. Occupation: President of the United States of America."
